Don't Be A Cow

I wanted to share one of my popular terms - COW. This word encompasses the female gender and based on the adjective before it will determine what type of cow she (or you) is being. I am not one to say b**ch or anything otherwise demeaning. It’s not nice and always turns something minor into a major blow-out.

On the other hand, if you told someone they were being a cow – it is an easy way to express your feelings without being in-your-face rude. 

Let’s practice:

Example #1: She's such a COW
Translation: All around descriptive term for being annoying or pissing me off

Example #2: Wow - what a MEAN COW!
Translation: Hurtful actions and behavior (gossiping, back stabbing and controlling-actions fall in this category). Can also be referred to as a frenemy, faux or fake friend. Mean cow sounds better.

Example #3: OMG – she is such a BLOGGY COW
Translation: you’ve been posting on her blog but she has yet to return the favor (so annoying….).

Example #4: What a STUPID COW
Translation: You ditched your girlfriends and left to hook up with some loser guy, or something else equally stupid.

Example #5: FAT COW
Translation: No one likes to be called this, but seriously – there is room for it on occasion. This can be interchanged with MEAN COW – depends on how mad you are.


Example #6: PARANOID/CLINGY COW
Translation: Worried that you don’t like her, asks you weird questions because she thinks you’re not including her. Exhibits low self-esteem and requires a lot of energy to be around. Bonus: thinks you are talking about her and begs for approval from others.

Example #7: NARCISSIST COW
Translation: Always has to drop brand/designer names when talking and is sure to tell everyone how great she is and how perfect her kids are. Barf. Don't confuse yourself: but paranoid and narcissist cows tend to be the same person.

Example #8: SELFISH COW
Translation: self centered behavior with no consideration for others. Often project negative thoughts and tend to whine incessantly about irrelevant crap. Toxic people - and we are exposed to them everyday. Warning – we all fall into the Selfish Cow mode at different times in our lives. Don't worry though, just surround yourself with honest friends. All you need is one good friend to tell you you’re being a Selfish Cow, in which you will probably retort she is being a Mean Cow. Deal with it, it's a vicious cycle.

Example #9: BUTCH COW
Translation: Simple, plain and not into anything feminine or over-the-top girly. This is not a bad term, just a descriptive one.

Example #10: SUPER-DELUXE COW
Translation: I don’t like you, we will never hang out, avoid my bubble – don’t look at me.