Don't Be A Cow

I wanted to share one of my popular terms - COW. This word encompasses the female gender and based on the adjective before it will determine what type of cow she (or you) is being. I am not one to say b**ch or anything otherwise demeaning. It’s not nice and always turns something minor into a major blow-out.

On the other hand, if you told someone they were being a cow – it is an easy way to express your feelings without being in-your-face rude. 

Let’s practice:

Example #1: She's such a COW
Translation: All around descriptive term for being annoying or pissing me off

Example #2: Wow - what a MEAN COW!
Translation: Hurtful actions and behavior (gossiping, back stabbing and controlling-actions fall in this category). Can also be referred to as a frenemy, faux or fake friend. Mean cow sounds better.

Example #3: OMG – she is such a BLOGGY COW
Translation: you’ve been posting on her blog but she has yet to return the favor (so annoying….).

Example #4: What a STUPID COW
Translation: You ditched your girlfriends and left to hook up with some loser guy, or something else equally stupid.

Example #5: FAT COW
Translation: No one likes to be called this, but seriously – there is room for it on occasion. This can be interchanged with MEAN COW – depends on how mad you are.


Example #6: PARANOID/CLINGY COW
Translation: Worried that you don’t like her, asks you weird questions because she thinks you’re not including her. Exhibits low self-esteem and requires a lot of energy to be around. Bonus: thinks you are talking about her and begs for approval from others.

Example #7: NARCISSIST COW
Translation: Always has to drop brand/designer names when talking and is sure to tell everyone how great she is and how perfect her kids are. Barf. Don't confuse yourself: but paranoid and narcissist cows tend to be the same person.

Example #8: SELFISH COW
Translation: self centered behavior with no consideration for others. Often project negative thoughts and tend to whine incessantly about irrelevant crap. Toxic people - and we are exposed to them everyday. Warning – we all fall into the Selfish Cow mode at different times in our lives. Don't worry though, just surround yourself with honest friends. All you need is one good friend to tell you you’re being a Selfish Cow, in which you will probably retort she is being a Mean Cow. Deal with it, it's a vicious cycle.

Example #9: BUTCH COW
Translation: Simple, plain and not into anything feminine or over-the-top girly. This is not a bad term, just a descriptive one.

Example #10: SUPER-DELUXE COW
Translation: I don’t like you, we will never hang out, avoid my bubble – don’t look at me.

A Fake Friend and My Obsession with eBay

I started selling on eBay last year and found the process overly addictive. Initially it was a pain and incredibly time consuming, but once I figured out the process I was hooked. I started with selling small things around the house and it morphed into vintage clothes, designer handbags, luggage and retro oddities.

To look more professional I created an eBay and Bonanza store and invested in marketing materials and mailing supplies (self-adhesive mailing bags, etc.). My final purchase was something I had always wanted – a MANNEQUIN! Meet ‘Priscilla’ – she is my six foot size 2 cash cow artificial friend. Putting the different outfits on her is like playing  dolls as an adult. However, I have to admit that some of the novelty of having a mannequin has worn off as her leg seems to fall off whenever I have to put pants on her. So annoying. With her removable parts and heavy base, she is not very mobile. However, she did help me by standing in the front window when I was out of town. At night, the car lights would hit her silhouette so it looked like she was staring out of the window. It worked too because all of my surrounding neighbors were broken in while I was away. Thank you Priscilla!

Darling was kind of freaked out about having a mannequin in the house – he kept seeing her in the corner-of- his-eye and thinking someone was in the room. My crazy girlfriends love her though, and during my last get together we ended up taking photos with her. Priscilla looked uh-mazing – and us? Well – we didn’t fare so well. More cocktails = less attractive photos.

As the store became more successful I began experimenting with consignment services. My big plan was to launch an online consignment business in April and focus on higher end items. Have you ever been in a ‘I Sold it on eBay’ franchise? They are gross, and when I was there it looked like the people in front of me were dropping off stolen goods. Not to mention it smelled like urine – totally unimpressed and slightly horrified. However, they were incredibly busy so it showed me there was a need for online listing services. I charged ahead.

Just as I was building up my referrals, the opportunity/news of going to Germany came up. I might be able to continue selling in Germany on some level, but for now I will be closing my two online stores as I get ready to leave. I am still collecting vintage coats for next winter and will sort through my remaining inventory.  There is SO MUCH TO DO to be able to leave...... slightly panicking.

Fitness & blood draws + Outfit of the Day!

Lucky lucky me, thanks to a speedy metabolism I have never had to worry about gaining weight. Oh sure, there are days I feel like a bloated cow - but at the end of the day I'm still a size 2 and am just complaining because that’s the reality of being a woman. My challenge is that I can quickly lose muscle mass and before you know it, I am 'mushy' with no real strength. Sometimes referred to as 'Skinny Fat' or 'Bag of Bones' -  that can be me on occasion.


Knowing that I will be responsible for hauling my own bags to Europe ( 3 of them at 70# each!) and the safe transport of wounded soldiers, it is time to amp up the workouts and increase my upper body strength. Today's workout included 30 minutes on the elliptical and 25 minutes of weights & squats. Push-ups were soooo hard today - it's amazing how quickly your ability to do them will diminish if you don't do them on a regular basis.


Today I'm going to get a physical and get my blood drawn by a civilian doctor. Call it paranoia, but I always get a full exam prior to leaving for any military deployment. Yes - I get exams on base, but they never share the results with you which I think is odd. So anyways, here is my outfit for the doctors. There is no reason to not looking stylish - even when it is for something as dull as a doctor’s visit.

HAPPY TUESDAY!

The Origins of Hot Pink Combat Boots

Welcome to my blog. I am a woman that has committed the last 19 years of my life to the military, while at the same time maintaining a love for the finer things in life (wine, travel, jazz, spas & anything pampering). I have a complete obsession with fashion and the superficial (seriously, bad-mascara-day can pretty much ruin the whole day) - all while finding a balance and loving my part-time military career.


These are two lifestyle extremes.  I know, and some days I feel like I'm from another planet as most people can not relate to the importance of dressing up and putting on makeup ( I wore makeup and did my hair every day while I was in Iraq - no excuses). Throw in the complication of living in a small town, recently turning 40 (yes 40, and yes I know I don't look 40 - that's half the fun) - and VOILA, you can start to understand the dilemma and dicotomy of my life.


So here is the big news......... I am leaving next month to spend 6 months in Europe. Yes, the lovely motherland of everything wonderful - Europe (Germany, to be exact). But I'm calling it Europe as I have no intentions of staying in just one country - but more on that later.


Join me as I try and figure out:

• what to pack
• how to say goodbye
• how to maintain a long distance relationship with the most amazing man ever
• how to adjust from livingn in a 7 bedroom home to a dorm room where I share a bathroom with a stranger 
• giving up my amazing wardrobe to wearing a uniform or fitness gear 80% of the time
• how to deal with annoying, frustrating and irritating people
• how to cope with the trauma I'll see, and the sad stories I will listen to - they are truly heartbreaking
• Any many more issues that will occur along the way

Thank you for your support and welcome to Hot Pink Combat  Boots!