Meet Fifi - a faux friend

The air base I'm on is HUGE - miles and miles wide with services being scattered from one end to the next. Over the last 4 days I have been walking everywhere. My feet have blisters, my shoes look trashed and everything takes a-really-long-time to accomplish. So basically, walking here BLOWS. 

To remedy my irritation with not having a car, I became the official owner of a shiny new European-style blue bicycle (to be consistent with my current blue obsession). I've purchased every accessory possible to include a bell, matching helmet and black wire front basket. 

I take her outside to prep her for photos (yes, the bike is a 'she'). As I'm making all of the final adjustments, I have an overwhelming feeling of love for my new transportation. This blue bicycle is a symbol of FREEDOM as I can now jet around the base in record time. PLUS, on my next day off I can ride into the nearest city and fill the basket with flowers and a baguette. Just like the movies! I feel so European chic and savvy. 

Out of love and respect, I decide to name her Fifi (pronounced Fee-Fee). Ms. Fifi and I are going to explore and shop. Watch out Germany, I have a new friend bicycle. I put on my helmet and get ready for the inaugural ride. I'm so excited and I can barely stand it.

I begin to pedal, and the pedals spin furiously yet the bike doesn't move forward. Huh. OK - it must be set in the lowest gear, no biggie. 

I pedal again, trying to shift gears. This time I nearly fall over. Wth?

Looking down I see the stupid chain has come off,  and thanks to my adorable European cover I can't put it back on. SUCK. I wheel the bike back inside and con the young flower/garden cashier-guy to put it back on for me. After many "shysa's" which was easy to translate into "sh*t", he got it back on. 

OK, lets try this again. I start to pedal and the basket is throwing the weight off so it take a bit of adjusting.

After a few minutes I notice that cars driving by are STARING. Not the 'You're on a bike so you must have gotten a DUI" kind of American stare. NO......this was the 'Hey, look at the NERD on her dumb bike", kind of stare.

Feeling slightly self conscious, I pedal faster and ignore all other vehicles. What......what's this? My legs are tired? Are you kidding me? I've been on the bike for 10 minutes and my quads were  shot. Sure, its super windy out but how is this even possible? I remember bicycling being super easy. Looks like I'm not in that great of shape after all. Shysa. 

So now Fifi is in my room and looking ridicouslously new. I will take her to work tomorrow and see what everyone says. I've already been teased for looking too nice, so I'm sure Fifi will bring me puh-lenty of unwanted attention.

OH and btw...no one will know I've named her. Just you, so don't tell.

Yes, thats bags of manure behind me. I didn't plan the shot very well.

13 comments:

mutantsupermodel said...

LOL! Great post. You must own the bike and not let the bike own you :)

Jello said...

haha awesome! here (in Canada that is...) you get the NERD look if you're on a scooter but bikes are super IN... i love your bike. it's cute and has this girly/preppy/country feeling to it, i find. enjoy the ride!
love,
Jello

Hot Pink Combat Boots said...

Mutantsupermodel - you are so right! I feel a bit out of my element here in this new world, otherwise I would be rocking it.

Ok - time for a new frame of mind. I don't care what you think of my nerd bike - I love it.

Hot Pink Combat Boots said...

Jello - I took it out for a ride today and it was great. I was all over the base in record time.

Lesson learned though - biking and lip gloss doesn't mix. Lip gloss = gross bug magnet

Lisa said...

Love the bike! It so makes me want to get mine out of the garage and get it ready to ride. Course I don't have a fancy basket (totally jealous) but I'll definitely be leaving the lip gloss at home. - Good tip!

The Fashionable Traveler said...

HI- I read about your blog on Andi's blog. I love it. Great story about the bicycle. Looking forward to reading more. Best of Luck

Andi said...

Well you are definitely going to be in shape!

Green Tea and Cupcakes said...

Oooh Fifi is so cute I want a pink one just like yours. I know what you mean riding a bike when younger was so easy and you could ride for ever with out getting tired and sore but now is another story.

Hot Pink Combat Boots said...

Hi Fashionalbe Traveler - thanks for visiting my blog and the sweet comment.

Ms. Andi - I know, right?! Is it possible to see results in one day? I went for a ride yesterday ad am def feeling it today.

Ms. Lisa - so glad to see you stopping by :)

Hot Pink Combat Boots said...

Ms. Green T and C - that's funny, I looked for a pink bike! No luck and I was almost stuck with boring beige.

Update on accessories: The basket is a nice feature but makes the bike really wobbly. Kind of like riding one big exercise ball.

Lacey said...

Love the bike! I just bought one the other day as well. Biking is hard. Try pulling a 40 lb girl and a 30 lb boy in a trailer connected to the back!

Are you going to be taking any weekend trips?

Hot Pink Combat Boots said...

Hi Ms. Lacey!
Omg - I couldn't even imagine pulling a couple of kids behind me. I'm having a hard time with the dumb basket :)

Trips....I am DYING to get out of here but I'm on a dumb 2 week travel restriction. I have Memorial Day Weekend off, so I will def go somewhere then.

Today I'm taking FiFi offbase with a co-worker to ride the trails offbase and learn how to bike into town. 80 degrees here today!!! I'll be melting for sure. Happy belated mothers day to you!

Megan said...

i love your bike! fifi looks awesome ;-) i am bringing my bike to norway...hoping it does not cause a problem on the plane :-)